Quarter-Life Crisis

Few years ago, I somehow convinced myself that the twenties were the times when I could make stupid mistakes in life; and how the twenties were the years of trial-and-errors. But once I've reached the thirties, that's it! Time to really get serious and set unachievable targets to change this world.

Because of that ridiculous and unnecessary pressure that I have bestowed upon myself, it's inevitable that I'm a little freaked out right now.

Why this pressure? It's quarter-life crisis, I tell you!

But like the more popular, and normal, condition of this kind of crisis, i.e. the mid-life one, there's nothing you can do to cure it. It's all in the mind. So do I go see a psychiatrist about this? Believe you me that I've considered the option more times than one!

But in lil' ol' Brunei, there's only one (yes, I've asked around). And being in the thirties, I have to be very cautious - to be inline with taking life seriously.

So with only one option, that idea is not very encouraging. Plus, is this really the best use of my hard-earned money? Heck, I'm in my thirties, I have to be serious about life, I have to get into the concept of, and have, "savings"! Going to see a shrink is going to add on to the monthly subtraction of my salary, which a quarter of it already goes into this house I'm living in.

So, I've decided to "shrink" myself, so to speak. Over the years of all the heartbreaks in the twenties, I've learned to project my pain into poetry and songs. Once completed, further basking in them somehow soothes the broken heart and put it back together piece by piece with each strum of my guitar. (See, I'm so used to writing angsty stuff that they would come even without me trying.)

Which is why, here I am, putting it all in words, and hoping to see clarity after I've "spoken my mind". It's really a good exercise, you know. And if you're still with me, perhaps I can interest you with keeping a journal.

I do keep a journal. Especially when my heart is not aligned with my head, it's good to just write out the problem because through it, the solution will also appear - as mystical as how words can be put on paper because our mind wants us to by controlling our hand and fingers.

But seriously, I believe in the power of a journal. Not only does it keep a record of your life, but it really works in providing clarity and a calm frame of mind.

Otherwise I wouldn't be here blogging because this is also a form of journal.