Every beginning is also an ending. Every beginning stems from a point of origin. Every beginning has a reason.
For mine, it was three years ago when I left the cocoon of my twenties, when I metamorphosed into this magnificent butterfly that I am today.
And just to reassure all my readers for I know the previous paragraph can sound a little feminine, but I am indeed one hot blooded male who is comfortable enough with his manhood to be throwing out lines like the above.
So, ladies, it's going to be an interesting ride; and gents, learn to keep up. (Yes, I used the word "gents". I'm old fashioned like that. Learn to keep up - or in this case, slow down.)
Being in the thirties, even in this day and age, but in this culture and society, I am well past that time. What time? That time. Just take a stab at it because you can't miss it. Yes, I'm talking about the next step in life. The next logical step in life. The next normal step in life. The next step in the evolution of man! I'm talking about the "M" word. Sigh. Marriage.
OK, so the sigh was uncalled for. Because I'm not ready for it yet. I'm not yearning to settle down. I don't want to be tied down. Or in the words of Russell Peters... OK, let's not go there. But the point is, I'm alright being single.
Even my parents know better than to ask me about it. Sure, they are probably wishing to be holding a grandchild by now, but they know better than to pressure me. They value the notion of "finding the right one". But in my mom's case, I think deep down she knows that no girl out there is good enough for her eldest. Actually, that's not entirely accurate. I should say, no girl is good enough to be her daughter-in-law.
But I digress. Being in the late twenties, I have relatives all asking about when I'm getting married. Even when I was single, they'd ask anyway. It's like a formality that I have to go through. So each time my response would be a polite smile and modestly decline the idea, or play up the idea that I have too many girlfriends. Thinking back now, that has never been true.
Anyway, now that I'm in my thirties, my relatives don't bother with that question anymore. They probably think of me as a lost cause by now. I see this as a good thing because after a few years, it sort of becomes an unwelcomed routine.
Now, new people I meet, I'm dealing with, "Nohhh, that can't be true. You're not attached?? That can't be true. You're so good looking and talented and capable. Any girl would be fortunate to be with you." How factual is this? I'd like to think it is. But again, I digress.
Fact is, I'm not getting asked that darn question as much as I used to anymore. Not my relatives, not friends, and certainly not from my parents. Except for this, one, person.
She used to be my primary school Chinese teacher. Now, I'm somewhat of a long-time friend to her son - you know, the kind where you've known each other for so long that even though you're not close at all you try to stay in touch whenever you can no matter how impossible it is but you already know that Chinese New Year is the only time of the year you're ever going to see each other. But still you try for the sake of trying.
Small talks and polite conversation ensued in his living room with his new wife who is also my friend, until my primary school teacher saw me and announced, "Hey, 'insert my full Chinese name here', long time no see. Are you still not married yet?" And she would go on and on for a while, talking about how my standards are too high and how my eyes are grown on top of my head and how I shouldn't wait this long to find a special someone.
Now, though I don't go out of my way to avoid her, I do hope I don't bump into her. Because when I do, I'd be dreading for the moment when she'd ask me that question again. More so now that she has a grandson.
Perhaps she doesn't understand that my status isn't by choice. Perhaps she doesn't understand that I don't just go out on casual hook-ups, or that I'm not a "player". (Really, I'm not. Otherwise I'd have a list to show for.)
But perhaps she doesn't understand that each time she asks, maybe it would strike a nerve? A nerve that stems from the ego, that preys on my insecurities and brings up all my defenses? Granted, I don't feel the need to step into the next stage in life, but I'm one of only a couple from my batch of childhood friends that's still single.
I've begun to notice a couple of years back that my circle of friends are getting younger and younger, because I no longer fit in with my batch of friends who have already started a family and who have different priorities in life.
Coming out for casual gatherings would now be accompanied by the occasional crying babies and grown-ups making silly faces.
Sure, I shy away at the thought of being responsible for another little human being but doesn't mean I reject the idea of fatherhood. Sure, I am enjoying being single and am thankful for the solitude but doesn't mean that it won't get lonely from time to time.
But fortunately for me, I have learned to live life by the moment. No two moments are the same, so cherishing each moment of the present is more important than worrying about what's next to come or what is it that I don't have yet.
Sure, this could just be a defense mechanism and it could just be a way of suppressing my fears; but it sure stops me from freaking out. Fear is just fear; it's like what its acronym stands for, false evidence appearing real. Why freak out over things that are just my own illusions? There really is no point in it.
I'd rather live my life and be grateful for what I already have. Life's too short to be worrying in fear.
So with this, it serves as a reaffirmation of my sanity and the positive outlook in life. And by helping myself, perhaps it will help others too along the way.
For mine, it was three years ago when I left the cocoon of my twenties, when I metamorphosed into this magnificent butterfly that I am today.
And just to reassure all my readers for I know the previous paragraph can sound a little feminine, but I am indeed one hot blooded male who is comfortable enough with his manhood to be throwing out lines like the above.
So, ladies, it's going to be an interesting ride; and gents, learn to keep up. (Yes, I used the word "gents". I'm old fashioned like that. Learn to keep up - or in this case, slow down.)
Being in the thirties, even in this day and age, but in this culture and society, I am well past that time. What time? That time. Just take a stab at it because you can't miss it. Yes, I'm talking about the next step in life. The next logical step in life. The next normal step in life. The next step in the evolution of man! I'm talking about the "M" word. Sigh. Marriage.
OK, so the sigh was uncalled for. Because I'm not ready for it yet. I'm not yearning to settle down. I don't want to be tied down. Or in the words of Russell Peters... OK, let's not go there. But the point is, I'm alright being single.
Even my parents know better than to ask me about it. Sure, they are probably wishing to be holding a grandchild by now, but they know better than to pressure me. They value the notion of "finding the right one". But in my mom's case, I think deep down she knows that no girl out there is good enough for her eldest. Actually, that's not entirely accurate. I should say, no girl is good enough to be her daughter-in-law.
But I digress. Being in the late twenties, I have relatives all asking about when I'm getting married. Even when I was single, they'd ask anyway. It's like a formality that I have to go through. So each time my response would be a polite smile and modestly decline the idea, or play up the idea that I have too many girlfriends. Thinking back now, that has never been true.
Anyway, now that I'm in my thirties, my relatives don't bother with that question anymore. They probably think of me as a lost cause by now. I see this as a good thing because after a few years, it sort of becomes an unwelcomed routine.
Now, new people I meet, I'm dealing with, "Nohhh, that can't be true. You're not attached?? That can't be true. You're so good looking and talented and capable. Any girl would be fortunate to be with you." How factual is this? I'd like to think it is. But again, I digress.
Fact is, I'm not getting asked that darn question as much as I used to anymore. Not my relatives, not friends, and certainly not from my parents. Except for this, one, person.
She used to be my primary school Chinese teacher. Now, I'm somewhat of a long-time friend to her son - you know, the kind where you've known each other for so long that even though you're not close at all you try to stay in touch whenever you can no matter how impossible it is but you already know that Chinese New Year is the only time of the year you're ever going to see each other. But still you try for the sake of trying.
Small talks and polite conversation ensued in his living room with his new wife who is also my friend, until my primary school teacher saw me and announced, "Hey, 'insert my full Chinese name here', long time no see. Are you still not married yet?" And she would go on and on for a while, talking about how my standards are too high and how my eyes are grown on top of my head and how I shouldn't wait this long to find a special someone.
Now, though I don't go out of my way to avoid her, I do hope I don't bump into her. Because when I do, I'd be dreading for the moment when she'd ask me that question again. More so now that she has a grandson.
Perhaps she doesn't understand that my status isn't by choice. Perhaps she doesn't understand that I don't just go out on casual hook-ups, or that I'm not a "player". (Really, I'm not. Otherwise I'd have a list to show for.)
But perhaps she doesn't understand that each time she asks, maybe it would strike a nerve? A nerve that stems from the ego, that preys on my insecurities and brings up all my defenses? Granted, I don't feel the need to step into the next stage in life, but I'm one of only a couple from my batch of childhood friends that's still single.
I've begun to notice a couple of years back that my circle of friends are getting younger and younger, because I no longer fit in with my batch of friends who have already started a family and who have different priorities in life.
Coming out for casual gatherings would now be accompanied by the occasional crying babies and grown-ups making silly faces.
Sure, I shy away at the thought of being responsible for another little human being but doesn't mean I reject the idea of fatherhood. Sure, I am enjoying being single and am thankful for the solitude but doesn't mean that it won't get lonely from time to time.
But fortunately for me, I have learned to live life by the moment. No two moments are the same, so cherishing each moment of the present is more important than worrying about what's next to come or what is it that I don't have yet.
Sure, this could just be a defense mechanism and it could just be a way of suppressing my fears; but it sure stops me from freaking out. Fear is just fear; it's like what its acronym stands for, false evidence appearing real. Why freak out over things that are just my own illusions? There really is no point in it.
I'd rather live my life and be grateful for what I already have. Life's too short to be worrying in fear.
So with this, it serves as a reaffirmation of my sanity and the positive outlook in life. And by helping myself, perhaps it will help others too along the way.
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